Thursday, April 15, 2010
1/2
I used to say relationship sucks, that it takes so much to make one work that the effort is useless when it falls apart. The reason I stayed single and went on butterfly hunting and getting bored of every butterfly as soon as I caught it, but that was half a year ago.
I guess I didn’t meet my match. 19 years of my life, switching guys one after the other, misjudging the infatuation for love, trying to be someone who I wasn’t, going head over heels to satisfy someone’s needs without a penny for mine, spending way too much to pleasure someone or satisfy their needs, what the fuck? I know. And I realize now that I wasted 19 years of my life to that crap. But finally, I see it.
And yeah what if this is just an infatuation? What if this is just like the last 3 or 4?
Romanticists say that, “when you find your soulmate, you will know that deep in your soul”. I know it sounds totally lame and that sentence made whatsoever no sense to me until I thought about it. It’s not exactly the same but I came close to the facts.
How do I know it? I’m not trying to be someone I’m not, I’m living the way I used to live, eating what I used to eat, having the midnight cravings and spontaneous meals I used to cook, having my normal mood swings at any time, staying in my unmade bed for as long as I want, going where ever I want whenever I want and doing whatever the hell I want and being happier than ever in my life, but not as single as I used to be 6 months ago, I’m in a committed relationship. And man it’s the total opposite of suck!
I know even if it sounds lame that deep inside, this time its way different, it has been long enough and I still haven’t felt that boredom I used to feel with others. I didn’t get bored after the chase, since I caught my man. I don’t need anything or anyone else to satisfy me, or make me happy. I really don’t have anything I want that I don’t have right now, I got everything, and he’s right beside me, sleeping peacefully like a baby.
It has been officially 6 months, unofficially 7 and counting, and I still haven’t had the slightest urge for anything else other than him, well yeah except the phone I want so badly. It’s a miracle; at least for me.
I’m counting… enjoying every second of it… til I reach infinity…
And hell yeah, it’s awesome!
I love you Hisaan, always :)
I guess I didn’t meet my match. 19 years of my life, switching guys one after the other, misjudging the infatuation for love, trying to be someone who I wasn’t, going head over heels to satisfy someone’s needs without a penny for mine, spending way too much to pleasure someone or satisfy their needs, what the fuck? I know. And I realize now that I wasted 19 years of my life to that crap. But finally, I see it.
And yeah what if this is just an infatuation? What if this is just like the last 3 or 4?
Romanticists say that, “when you find your soulmate, you will know that deep in your soul”. I know it sounds totally lame and that sentence made whatsoever no sense to me until I thought about it. It’s not exactly the same but I came close to the facts.
How do I know it? I’m not trying to be someone I’m not, I’m living the way I used to live, eating what I used to eat, having the midnight cravings and spontaneous meals I used to cook, having my normal mood swings at any time, staying in my unmade bed for as long as I want, going where ever I want whenever I want and doing whatever the hell I want and being happier than ever in my life, but not as single as I used to be 6 months ago, I’m in a committed relationship. And man it’s the total opposite of suck!
I know even if it sounds lame that deep inside, this time its way different, it has been long enough and I still haven’t felt that boredom I used to feel with others. I didn’t get bored after the chase, since I caught my man. I don’t need anything or anyone else to satisfy me, or make me happy. I really don’t have anything I want that I don’t have right now, I got everything, and he’s right beside me, sleeping peacefully like a baby.
It has been officially 6 months, unofficially 7 and counting, and I still haven’t had the slightest urge for anything else other than him, well yeah except the phone I want so badly. It’s a miracle; at least for me.
I’m counting… enjoying every second of it… til I reach infinity…
And hell yeah, it’s awesome!
I love you Hisaan, always :)
Labels: Anniversary, bebby, diary entries, happy, Love, me and my thoughts, relationships
outburst noted at 11:23 PM
what 2 peepz say about this...
what 2 peepz say about this...
