Sunday, May 2, 2010
arghafjlskjaagjsdgas :@:@
I’m not that person anymore, the bitch who I used to be? Well I can still be a bitch, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been in action, sort of lost the touch of it. I’ve tried to control the situation in other means but no such luck. Then I vent it out on my blog.
I don’t have to pay rent and bills to a house and go sleep at other one? So why the hell am I paying rent to my own house if I can’t LIVE in it? Why am I the one who is being referred to in the renewed agreement? Why do I have to clean up all the mess others leave behind in my own house?? Clean up the unwashed dishes, messy floors with food everywhere, smelling rotten garbage, and everything else? Was I brought to Malaysia by my parents breaking their bones to support my huge college fee’s to study or as a cleaning lady to clean mess other people leave in my own house? and practically every single day? Why don’t I have the supplies of food my parents send me from my home country after spending so much and trying in so many ways to send them to me because I can’t eat the stuff here, because they ate em all????? And I have no fking food left?? Why do I have to stay up every single night due the loud noises they make and get a freaking migraine attack, miss classes the next morning, loose my attendance average and finally end up not being approved to get my visa renewed ‘cause I didn’t attend college? WTF?
I’ve kept my mouth shut for a long time, why? Cuz they are my friends and I hoped they could figure it out themselves, to think of others and not only themselves. But when I couldn’t tolerate, I talked to them nicely. Explained the situation in a friendly way, begged to atleast keep it down for the weekdays. But what? NO FRIKKIN CHANGE.
I’ve kept this from my parents. Why? Because they would freak out and it would break their heart to know the situation I’m in, they might take me back to my home country because I’m not getting what I came here to achieve. I end up crying every single night due to the pain I have to live in, and finally broke down the day I visited my aunt n uncle. Now my parents can’t sleep or do anything because they are worried sick of me. I don’t even like to come to my own house anymore. Seriously.
Guess it’s time to bring the bitch back on or I don't know?? Cuz I can’t fucking tolerate this shit anymore. I’m going nuts. I can’t study. I can’t focus on anything, I’m not well and I’m ruining the best days of my life because SOME people don’t have the FUCKING MIND OR DECENCY TO THINK OF OTHERS WHEN THEY GET THE FUCKING FREEDOM TO LIVE WITHOUT THEIR PARENTS OR I DON’T KNOW , THEY ARE FUCKING RETARDED OR SOMETHING.
I don’t have to pay rent and bills to a house and go sleep at other one? So why the hell am I paying rent to my own house if I can’t LIVE in it? Why am I the one who is being referred to in the renewed agreement? Why do I have to clean up all the mess others leave behind in my own house?? Clean up the unwashed dishes, messy floors with food everywhere, smelling rotten garbage, and everything else? Was I brought to Malaysia by my parents breaking their bones to support my huge college fee’s to study or as a cleaning lady to clean mess other people leave in my own house? and practically every single day? Why don’t I have the supplies of food my parents send me from my home country after spending so much and trying in so many ways to send them to me because I can’t eat the stuff here, because they ate em all????? And I have no fking food left?? Why do I have to stay up every single night due the loud noises they make and get a freaking migraine attack, miss classes the next morning, loose my attendance average and finally end up not being approved to get my visa renewed ‘cause I didn’t attend college? WTF?
I’ve kept my mouth shut for a long time, why? Cuz they are my friends and I hoped they could figure it out themselves, to think of others and not only themselves. But when I couldn’t tolerate, I talked to them nicely. Explained the situation in a friendly way, begged to atleast keep it down for the weekdays. But what? NO FRIKKIN CHANGE.
I’ve kept this from my parents. Why? Because they would freak out and it would break their heart to know the situation I’m in, they might take me back to my home country because I’m not getting what I came here to achieve. I end up crying every single night due to the pain I have to live in, and finally broke down the day I visited my aunt n uncle. Now my parents can’t sleep or do anything because they are worried sick of me. I don’t even like to come to my own house anymore. Seriously.
Guess it’s time to bring the bitch back on or I don't know?? Cuz I can’t fucking tolerate this shit anymore. I’m going nuts. I can’t study. I can’t focus on anything, I’m not well and I’m ruining the best days of my life because SOME people don’t have the FUCKING MIND OR DECENCY TO THINK OF OTHERS WHEN THEY GET THE FUCKING FREEDOM TO LIVE WITHOUT THEIR PARENTS OR I DON’T KNOW , THEY ARE FUCKING RETARDED OR SOMETHING.
Labels: diary entries, Life, me and my thoughts, Mood Swings, parents, Sad, Sickness, so called friends, studies
outburst noted at 1:05 PM
what 3 peepz say about this...
what 3 peepz say about this...
